A year since my mastectomy: 13 wins and positives I didn’t expect
From a healthier lifestyle to the discovery I like audiobooks and kimchi and can enjoy a Robbie Williams concert stone cold sober...
Friday November 17, 2023 is seared into my memory, scorched into the calendar of my mind. Today is exactly a year since I had my mastectomy and breast reconstruction following my lobular breast cancer diagnosis. Radiotherapy followed swiftly in February 2024 and the introduction of Tamoxifen, the daily medication I’ll be on for at least the next five years, is duly underway. So how am I feeling a year on from my mastectomy? As I reflect I am genuinely surprised by all the positives that have accumulated.
I’ve always been a glass-half full person. My default setting when attempting to cope with testing times and the challenges life hurls is usually, ‘It could be a lot worse’ which has served me pretty well.
Yes, the past year has been hard but so many positive changes and discoveries have found their way into my life. Some I’ve actively sought out. Others have slipped in quietly.
One thing I know is, aged 53, I feel healthier and stronger, both mentally and physically, than I did in the decade pre-diagnosis (and that’s after having to abruptly stop HRT too).
One in seven women in the UK will be diagnosed with breast cancer so I hope some of these ‘gains’ and positives may resonate with people going through treatment or provide some mild comfort to those heading down that path. However I think the majority are relatable to anyone. You don’t have to have had a cancer diagnosis to feel the benefits of eating more vegetables, enjoy the comforting cocoon of supportive friendships or the transporting bliss of engaging fiction.
So here we are, my 13 ‘wins’ that have emerged in the past twelve months. Some are more profound than others, some more surprising but all have put me in a better place or buoyed me up.
1…EMBRACED A HEALTHIER DIET
I have always been a relatively healthy eater, (if you don’t count my student years when I existed on tins of mayo-drenched tuna, bacon Wheat Crunchies and daily Cup-A-Soups), but since my diagnosis I have made a concerted effort to reduce/ cut out processed foods and to eat more fruit and vegetables. I have discovered I love making a big tub of bircher muesli that lasts at least five days and is inspired by my favourite at Pret but without the price tag and wasteful plastic. I have also made it my goal to have as much natural colour on my plate as possible each day. Beetroot, carrots, red peppers, spinach..welcome. The more of these food types I eat, the more I want to eat. Win win.
2 ….REALIZED JUST HOW AMAZING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE
It has blown my mind just how brilliant my family and friends have been and how they’ve stepped up. I value them more than ever. The hugs, the cards, the Whatsapp messages, the checking in, the turning up, the providing, the accompanying, the laughing, the walks, the thoughtful gifts. The presence. The reassurances. There’s a reason I seem to be signing off all my messages with four kisses these days. I can’t help it. I love you all. Thank you. I am very lucky to have you in my life.
3… HAD A TUMMY TUCK
If you’re going to have to go through a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery then a resulting flat stomach is a pretty good by-product. After lots of initial wavering and indecision over whether or not to have a breast implant I decided to have the DIEP flap option in which fat was taken from my stomach to fill my new left boob. Luckily there was more than enough chub to fashion a relatively perky C cup. Magic! I am delighted with the end result. Yes I have a big scar going from hip to hip but that will fade. Not since I was a teenager has my stomach been so taut and flat. Bring on the bikinis.
4…BEEN INTRODUCED TO BRILLIANT CHARITIES AND WONDERFUL VOLUNTEERS
My eyes have been opened to just how much support is out there. Seek and you shall find! And if you can’t find, ask. My reaction to my diagnosis was to guzzle up any shred of free help available. Breast Cancer Now and their ‘Someone Like Me’ scheme, Macmillan Cancer support and their 1:1 counselling sessions, the brilliant Menopause and Cancer group and podcast run by Dani Biddington, the beautiful haven of Future Dreams based in Kings Cross, London, the awesome charity Restore, I have made use of them all and continue to do so. There is no need to suffer alone. I have been helped by some amazing volunteers and resources I had no idea existed, discovered new coping strategies and made new friends along the way.
5 …GOT INTO AUDIO BOOKS
I do like a podcast (nod to my favourite podcast comedians Rob Beckett and Josh Widdecombe whose Parenting Hell banter has kept me entertained for the past four years and in hospital too). However when it comes to novels I’ve always liked to read the pages of a physical book…until now. It was the beginning of enforced rest post surgery that led me to audiobooks and in the last 12 months I’ve become a prolific listener. I have found great comfort in the soothing tones of a host of different narrators (tip - always check you like the narrators voice before purchasing) and have worked my way through numerous brilliant novels whilst prone with my eyes closed. I have also discovered an audiobook at 3am during regular menopausal insomnia is a far more effective way to get back to sleep than the World Service. It’s been a revelation.
6….FOUND OUT I LIKE FERMENTED FOOD
Three years ago I interviewed Michael Mosley for one of his TV shows (RIP Michael) He talked at length about the health benefits of fermented food, how to make kimchi and how kefir was fabulous for the gut. I listened politely, duly wrote up my interview and half-heartedly picked up a jar of kimchi on a subsequent supermarket trip which was pushed to the back of our fridge to be discovered two years later behind some congealed chill sauce and a pot of pesto sprouting white fur. Since my diagnosis-induced foray into healthier eating I have become a BIG fan of fermented food. Bring on the kefir. Slap on the sauerkraut. I feel better for it. I think Michael would be pleased with me. Can you eat fermented pesto from 2019? Joke.
7…BECOME A VOLUNTEER
Meeting the volunteer ladies from Restore a week before my mastectomy was a major turning point. I have written about it here but their generosity in sharing their stories, their mastectomy scars and reconstructions bolstered my confidence and resolve immeasurably. I have since become part of the merry band of pink dressing-gown clad volunteers who happily bare their bodies and boobs to breast cancer patients deciding on surgical procedures. Not only are the Pink Ladies part of my new support network (we love a good chat over lunch following our Show and Tell events) but it’s lovely hearing directly from the women in the audience who tell us just how much we have helped them. More recently I have also become a model for Future Dreams. My heart is well and truly warmed.
8 …DISCOVERED COLD SHOWERS MAKE ME FEEL GREAT
Coming off my HRT following my diagnosis was tricky. Having never had a hot flush before, suddenly my internal thermostat went into a confused frenzy of menopausal mayhem. A couple of years ago I was sent to interview Wim Hof aka The Ice Man and had the pleasure of dunking myself next to Wim in the very chilly February waters of Brockwell Lido. It was the first time I’d experienced cold water therapy. It left me tingly, invigorated and feeling great but did I try it again? No. Not until I was going through my cancer treatment and on daily medication, Tamoxifen, which can bring a plethora of (not) fun side effects. I now start every morning with a blast of cold water after my usual hot shower and I’m well and truly addicted to the buzzy lift it gives me. Another discovery of something that makes me feel great.
9… WAVED FAREWELL TO BOOZE
I haven’t been much of a drinker for many years (thank you cruel perimenopause). The headaches, sleep disruption not to mention hangovers that lasted for days all contributed to a big reduction of booze in my 40s. However since my breast cancer I’ve gone from a couple of glasses a week to a mere occasional trickle. It has been incremental and weirdly effortless. My mindset is not one of rigid ‘All booze is banned’ abstinence. I usually begin nights out with a soft drink and say to myself ‘I’ll only have a glass of wine/ beer/ a cocktail/ a gin and tonic if I really want one’. It turns out I don’t really want one. So far I have navigated a funeral wake, a 50th birthday party and Robbie Williams in Hyde Park all without a drop. Yes, I’m surprised too! I feel A LOT better for it. More energy, clearer-head, getting more things I want to get done actually done… all the beneficial wins we all know about.
10 ….BOOKED A LOT OF FUN STUFF!
Carpe Diem. There’s nothing like a serious diagnosis to make you hone in on what actually makes you happiest and to seize the moment. I’ve been packing in the fun whenever I can. Saunas on Brighton beach, rambles in Kent, overnight spa trips (when I’ve found a good deal), music festivals, bombing along the coast of Hampshire on an E-bike and as much comedy as I can muster. Comedians Ivo Graham, Laura Smyth, Rob Copland, Nick Helm and Joe Wilkinson are just some of my favourite funsters who have rendered me helpless with laughter in the past few months. I’m on a comedy roll.
11…MET FOODIE GODDESS MELISSA HEMSLEY AND WELL, WELL, WELL SUBSTACK AUTHOR ROSAMUND DEAN
I was having a wobble a couple of months ago about the whole cancer thing and so did what I have learnt helps give me a reassuring boost and that was to see what talks and events were coming up at Future Dreams (the aforementioned charity hub in Kings Cross for women affected by breast cancer). By chance I saw foodie guru Melissa Hemsley whose latest recipe book I had literally bought that weekend and author, journalist & substacker Rosamund Dean whose podcast episode I had been listening to that morning, were giving a talk at Future Dreams HQ the following evening. It seemed like fate. I booked my spot and went along. Not only was it a really inspiring and informative session but I got to chat to them both and discovered what lovely humans they are.
12.…REALISED I LIKE YOGA AND MEDITATION
It is completely understandable that stress levels are going to soar following a cancer diagnosis. I found waiting for numerous scan results and the days and minutes before meetings with surgeons, radiologists and oncologists by far the most anxiety-inducing. My menopausal sleep patterns were already in chaos prior to the diagnosis and having to come straight off HRT only made things a whole lot worse. Having already been a fan of pilates I branched into yoga at my local community gym and over the past 12 months I have become a complete convert. Yes I like bending around and enjoying a few downward dogs and sun salutations but it’s the mediation part that I’ve discovered I really value. I now cherish the time when I am in a room, switched off and transported somewhere peaceful and I’ve learnt some great breathing techniques too that can be pulled out the bag and used in stressy circumstances. It’s a game-changer. Insight Timer is a handy free app for meditation but I’m sure there are loads more. Let me know!
13 ….STARTED A SUBSTACK!
Here I am. Enough said. I’m very new to this whole Substack world and so it’s lovely that you’ve read this (and thank you for making it to the end!) Well done. Top marks. Please do come and join me here, subscribe, share and press that little heart button at the bottom if you like what you’ve read because it does make a difference, it will allow more people to see what I’m writing about (and will obviously make me happy too).
I would love to hear your comments. If you are going through a breast cancer diagnosis too (or if you aren’t) or if you are out the other side, it would be great to hear what positives you may have found or introduced into your life amid all the s**t life can throw.
What is the biggest discovery you have you made? What is the single most important beneficial change you’ve introduced to your life? What is the most surprising? I never in a million years thought I would become a fan of cold showers! You live and learn. I’d love to hear from you…
RESOURCES - a quick summary of all the fabulous resources mentioned in case helpful either for you or someone you know.
CHARITIES
BOOKS
Reconstruction by Rosamund Dean - this book became my best-friend after my diagnosis, pre-surgery and post-surgery and continues to be helpful.
Real Healthy - by Melissa Hemsley this has become my all time favourite and has given my cooking a much-needed new lease of life. All the recipes are quick, easy, healthy and delicious. Cannot recommend enough!
PODCASTS
Menopause and Cancer podcast with Dani Biddington
Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdecombe podcast (because it makes me laugh… a lot)
APP
Insight Timer free app for all-things mediation that I’ve made good use of (free unless you want to upgrade for various things)
Thanks for this, Tess. I'm at the beginning of my treatment, three chemos in, and it's lovely to read from someone embracing the moment after it's finished. Hooray for life!
Thank you for sharing your journey, Tess. It's not easy to write about such things. There are so many ways we can find to love ourselves, shift perspective and engage more in community. Our health is everything! 😘